Q Our 3-year-old son keeps coming into our bed at night. What can we do to stop this without making a big deal of it?

Health Visitor Dawn replies: As soon as your son arrives in your bed, gently take him straight back to his room and his own bed with as little talking as possible. If he needs a cuddle, calming down or reassuring then it's important that you give him this, but wait until you are back in his room before doing so. Let him know that it's time for him to go to sleep now and that his room is a nice place to be.

My 1-year-old daughter’s favourite new word is ‘no’. Every time I offer her something—even something I’m sure she really wants—she shakes her head and responds negatively. She also refuses to hold my hand. I’m finding this quite annoying and I fear we’re going to be constantly at loggerheads.

Therapist Lesley replies: Your daughter's becoming a toddler and saying no often is actually a normal and essential part of her development-even if it doesn't make life easy for you. For the first time, she's able to test limits, exert some power and have her own opinions, which is vital in helping her become her own person. It may seem strange when she rejects treats you know she'd really love, or a helping hand from you, but to her, saying ‘yes' can feel as if she's handing her power over to you. Try to respect her resistance rather than get into battles. A bit of tact will help you steer through most tricky situations, so try giving her choices rather than yes or no options. For example, ask ‘Do you want an apple or a banana?' rather than ‘Here's a banana', or say, ‘Walk or piggy back to bed?' rather than ‘Go to bed'.

Breast-feeding

Nourishing your baby can be a daunting task for the first few weeks. Here's a guide to print out and keep at hand during feedings.

How to Breast-feed Your Baby

Breast-feeding may be natural, but that doesn't mean it always comes naturally. It often takes practice, so be patient and persistent -- it's worth the effort. In the first few days, your baby may not be too hungry, but she'll become more interested as her need for nourishment increases.

If you or your baby finds nursing difficult, seek advice from your healthcare provider or a lactation consultant.



Things to Know:

Nurse your newborn as soon as possible after birth, preferably within the first hour, and every time she shows signs of hunger thereafter. Watch for increased alertness, mouthing, nuzzling against the breast, or rooting (a reflex in which your baby opens her mouth and turns her head toward something that touches her cheek).

If you follow her cues, you'll probably be breast-feeding every two to three hours around the clock for the first four to six weeks. But do allow your baby to breast-feed more frequently if she wishes.

In the early weeks, if four hours have elapsed since the last feeding, you should rouse your infant by gently moving her arms and legs. If she doesn't awaken enough to nurse after a few minutes, stop and try again in half an hour.



Getting Started:

Settle into a comfortable position: sitting up or lying down, with baby angled across your breasts or alongside you. The baby's entire body should be facing you, not just her head. Use pillows as needed to support your arms, your back, and/or the baby. (Make sure no part of the pillow might impede baby's breathing.)

Ignore distractions and concentrate on the softness of your baby's face against your breasts. If your baby doesn't immediately suckle, you can usually trigger the rooting reflex by gently stroking her cheek with your finger or your nipple.

Help your baby to latch on to your breast correctly. Her mouth should encircle the entire nipple area (called the aureole), not just the nipple itself. Some babies take a while to learn how to do this, but it's essential, because incorrect latching-on quickly leads to sore nipples. Help her by placing your nipple in the center of her mouth, with as much of the as possible aureole within her lips. Press your breast down away from her nose, if necessary, to allow her plenty of breathing space.

Adjust your position and hers as necessary while she's feeding. The more relaxed you feel, the better the feeding will go.

Allow your baby about five minutes on each breast when you first begin. Over the course of the next few days build to ten to fifteen minutes per breast. This depends on your baby's appetite -- and each baby's needs are different. Don't force the issue -- you'll know if you're baby is getting enough nourishment by your pediatrician's weigh-ins and the number of wet diapers (about 5 to 8 per day during the first few days, 6 to 8 per day thereafter).

To break suction so you can switch breasts, simply slide your finger between her mouth and the nipple.

Unless your nipples are sore, it's okay to let her enjoy slowly sucking for as long as she likes.

After she's finished with each breast, burp her by patting gently on her back as you hold her against your shoulder or in some other comfortable position (some babies prefer a sitting up position on your lap). Put baby atop a clean cloth as you do this -- occasionally milk comes up with the burp. Be aware that she won't always burp audibly, but it's important to try to help her get rid of any gas.

NURSING BASICS
BREAST MILK AND SUPPLY
BREAST FEEDING AND PAIN

Pain

Check your latch. I knew I had the latch down when there was no white tip or line across the nipple and it didn't hurt after a few seconds to nurse. The initial pain went away after a few weeks.

Frozen peas aren't just food. A bag of frozen peas [is] awesome as a cold compress for engorgement.

Cabbage combats soreness. Use cabbage leaves for soreness -- they are cooling and feel great! Just place individual cabbage leaves inside your bra (break them apart, wash, separate with paper towels, place in a big plastic bag, and keep them cold in the fridge.)

No biting allowed. The advice I got was to watch while the baby is latched on. If you watch, you can see when the latch is dropped and a bite is coming, so you can pull out before it happens. If you do get bitten, I've been saying "No bite!" and then not letting him back on for a minute so he associates that with not nursing.

Breast Milk and Supply

Breast Milk

Give it a swirl. Milk that has been stored in the refrigerator tends to separate and that is normal. So before you give it to your baby, give it a swirl. You'll see that it will come back together.

Don't worry about the consistency. If your milk is watery, you're extracting the foremilk. If it is thicker and whiter, it is the hind milk. You may also find that after your baby drinks your breast milk, the bottle has a residue. Don't worry -- it's the fat of the hind milk left in there.

Milk Supply

Moist heat encourages let down. I was stressed and worried I wouldn't let down. The worst thing for me was hearing everyone tell me to just relax. What helped was moist heat. I put a wet towel in the microwave for a short time. A shower worked as well.

Reading may help you relax. I found that reading or doing a crossword puzzle while pumping would really help. I guess it took my mind off getting enough milk, or pumping for a certain time. It sort of distracted me. Find something you like to do and if possible do it while pumping.
Pump while you nurse to boost output. One way to quickly pump is to pump the boob baby's not nursing on while she nurses on the other. That way, your let-down happens faster. I always had trouble alone, but got a great stash by nursing and pumping together.